Did your parents tell you all the time you were growing up “Don’t Talk to Strangers”? Mine did. They wanted to keep me safe. They wanted to let me know that I couldn’t trust every adult. Yet talking to people you don’t know is a necessary skill once we become adults, to talk with new co-workers, bosses, clients, networking contacts. If we’re going to be successful, widening our circle is necessary. Many of us are hesitant, however, because that old warning is lurking in our subconscious mind shaping our behavior without us even realizing it. It’s limiting because we don’t learn very much, because we don’t grow our networks, because we’re so uncomfortable making cold calls, because clients/customers sense our hesitation. Traveling alone I’ve met many people in the hostels I’m staying in, on the tours I’m taking, on the lines I’m waiting in. In this picture I’ve met 3 new friends, Emma, Emily and Prem. I just walked up to Emma who was sitting by herself at an outside bar near the Sydney Opera House and said, ‘Mind if I join you?’ She let me know she was expecting 3 friends and that I was welcome to join them. We got to talking and I learned that two of them had lived in the US near NYC and were able to compare their experiences living in both places, differences and similarities in word usage, love lives, parenting, travel, work, school. I learned what was important to them. It was wonderful. I would have never had this experience if I hadn’t challenged an old parent based well-ingrained directive about not talking to strangers, and replaced it with ‘boldly talk to strangers.’ In your life or business, what old parent based well-ingrained directives and assumptions are you still maintaining even though they are limiting your experience and the results you’re getting in your life and business? Here are some I’ve run across in my coaching work:

• It has to be perfect before I can reveal it to anyone.
• The world is black and white. There are no shades of gray or alternate options.
• If I believe something new now, it means I was wrong before. I can’t admit that.
• Vulnerability is a sign of weakness.
• Failure shows how inferior I am and will result in rejection.
• I have to do it all myself for it to be done right.

  Try these on for size instead:

• Progress, not perfection is the key
• There are an abundance of alternatives. So open your eyes.
• I evolve and there is accomplishment and pride in learning and moving past old beliefs.
• Being vulnerable requires courage. It is the sign of ultimate strength.
• Failing forward, using trial and error, gets you to what works so much faster.
• I can multiply my effectiveness by delegating to those I’ve prepared or those who are more skilled in specialty areas.

Challenging old assumptions is life changing. I had to challenge some old assumptions for me to plan and implement this new lifestyle. It wasn’t easy. I had plenty of help from those who listened and encouraged me. If I can do it, so can you. If I can listen to and encourage you, please reach out. #travelingwhileworking   #workingwhiletraveling

Hey I’ve lived a long time and I’ve developed lots of habits. In our brains habits are formed when the same neural pathways are used over and over. After a while they become frictionless 6-lane highways that are easy to take because they are comfortable and the brain likes easy shortcuts. Habits are like pathways that it already knows are safe and have predictable results.

I’m pictured here with a new friend, a person from Germany named Falk. We met on a line to go up to Sky Tower, a revolving restaurant high over Sydney, Australia. We then got seated in neighboring tables in the restaurant and decided to keep each other company for dinner.  I learned his story. He grew up in a large family and learned carpentry skills from his father. He then decided to be a carpenter and travel around the world building training facilities for companies that make and/or distribute membranes for solar homes. So he is doing what I’m doing, working while traveling and traveling while working.

It was easy for him because he didn’t have to undo a lot of old habits like I did. He wasn’t entrenched in activities and patterns that got in his way.

The message here is that people change at different rates depending on how solidly entrenched old patterns, belief systems, habits and activities are in your life or in the lives of people you want to change. Are you creating change in yourself or your company? Be patient. Unearth those old patterns and belief systems. Determine what new habits will replace the old ones. Then practice, practice, practice to create a new neural pathway in the brain and a new habit. Every time you catch yourself (or a staff member) sliding into an old unwanted habit, make the correction without beating yourself/your staff member up. It’s part of the natural process of changing the brain’s normal patterns of habit formation.

travelingwhileworking   workingwhiletraveling

 

The most remarkable thing in Sydney Australia, is the Sydney Opera House. I’ve taken a tour plus seen a theater performance and a ballet there during my week’s stay here. There was a competition for architects to draw up plans for it. A young Danish architect named Jørn Utzon won the competition and created the billowing sails building we see today instead of the square non-descript buildings we see in most city centers. Just think of the change that had to be accepted on the part of the judges of that competition to go with something so unique. And yet here we are 46 years later and it’s still iconic. What models are you using in your organization (or your life) to inspire you to take up disruptive change? The Sydney Opera House inspires me because I love the performing arts and because the building is majestic down to the last details. (Even the ladies room is full of ocean waves built into the sinks and the layout.) You lead your team using inspiration. Whether you tell stories from your personal life, or you tell the story of the growth of another disruptive company, or you choose something that was way ahead of its time, select something visual and auditory that you and your people can relate to. Make that the symbol of your ‘north star’, your company’s vision. Help people relate their personal goals to the company’s vision. You’ll bring out their best. #travelingwhileworking   #workingwhiletraveling

I mentioned in my last blog that my identity is shifting to being a ‘continuous multi-country traveler’ rather than an ‘occasional traveler focused on singular destinations’. For me to really embrace that change I need to believe that that is who I am now.

One thing that has really helped me make the shift is being in hostels where so many young people (and an occasional older person) are living that life style. Most are ages 22-39 by my estimation. Some are here is Australia on work visas and are holding down jobs to make some money. Some are traveling as they prepare to go back to school. Some are world vagabonds, travel junkies looking for great experiences in all parts of the world.

Because I’m surrounded by people doing ‘continuous travel’, it’s much easier for me to see what’s modeled and be inspired to see myself in the same way. Obviously, I’m way past age 39, but I can still learn and be inspired by people that are the ages of my children. In fact, I’m always learning from my kids. They inspire me and set the pace for me to live in a modern world.

Here I’m with some fellow hostelers on a walking tour in Melbourne, Australia, seeing the laneways with restaurants, bars and shops tucked into open (and sometimes hidden) nooks and crannies.

Jim Rohn says you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. In your organization or in your life, are you surrounding yourself with people who inspire you, model for you what you want to achieve? Are you selecting others to hang out with who will move you forward? In your organization are you selecting leaders who see your vision, or are you dealing with ‘professional againsters?’ You get to choose.

travelingwhileworking workingwhiletraveling

 

(or Steer Your Own Sailboat Through the Journey of Change)

  I traveled to Australia from New Zealand. It was only a four-hour flight. But it was momentous for me. You see I’ve traveled a few times in my lifearound the world as a student, with my family to Europe, around the US on family vacations or for conferences, and a couple of vacation trips to Canada and Mexico. They were either highly organized (the student trip) or very focused on a location or purpose (short term vacations or conferences). This the first time I’ve taken on the identity of a continuous traveler. When I landed in Australia (the second country on my trip), I recognized myself as no longer being a wanna-be continuous traveler. I now have in my bones that I travel from country to country, while maintaining my business, serving my clients, watching myself change as I expect my clients to change. Change isn’t easy. It requires a change in who you perceive yourself to be or what you perceive your organization’s capabilities are. If you don’t have the vision, you can’t get started. If you don’t use affirmations to overcome your fears, then you won’t believe it’s possible and start taking steps. If you don’t actually achieve some goals, you won’t shift the belief in your bones that the results of the change are real and experience-based. (hence, the imposter syndrome) And what’s more this is not something that happens to you. It’s something you do proactively for yourself. Steer your own sailboat. As a leader, if you want to create change in your organization, you need to build the belief system that the change is possible. What is the vision that you communicate that puts motivation to change in your culture? What empowerment statements do you give your people that give them faith that change is possible, even in the face of obstacles? What small (and later large) goals are you leading your people to accomplish so that they start to experience that change is possible? What is the new identity you want the organization to take on and what is your process of leading your people to shift to that new identity? The new currency of success is belief. Shift the belief, shift the results. #travelingwhileworking #workingwhiletraveling

Earlier this week I met up with a fellow Conversational Intelligence coach who lives in New Zealand. I had reached out to her when I knew the dates I’d be there. She welcomed me even though we had never metpicked me up from the ferry (She lives on the island of Waiheke), took me to a wonderful lunch at the top of the mountain and then we walked a beautiful beach. She pointed out the vinyards, told me about the history of the island and how she had come to live there many years ago. What a wonderful experience. I love meeting people and learning about culture. I would have never had this experience if I had never taken the risk to get out of my comfort zone. #travelingwhileworking  #workingwhiletraveling