How will you make 2020 a year that makes a difference in your life? You only get one life to live  and the next year of your one and only life is a terrible thing to waste.

Typically at the beginning of the year people invest in stocks. What do you want this year that’s different than last year? How will your business/career serve your expanding life? Decide to make it your year to create what you want. So often we take what comes. We let circumstances dictate how we spend our time, the spend rate of our money, the direction of relationships, what we tolerate in our jobs. We let the status quo, satisfying or not, continue because it’s the path of least resistance. We do what we’ve always done because it’s comfortable. Is that you? Where in your life will you take charge?

• Travel? Plan a trip to a faraway place that calls to you? (I did that in 2019 and I’m doing it again in 2020)
• Do something on your own because it’s what you want and you’re not waiting for everyone else. (yup, that’s me)
• Get a job that respects your worth with the pay and the professional respect you deserve (I coach people to first look for the companies with the culture you want, and then go for a job there.)
• Promote your own career. Develop your professional capabilities on our own and then make your current employer and new potential employers bid on who you’ll choose. (Ask my clients about this one)
• Specify where you want to be within 12 months. Then actively pursue your goals like a dog after a bone. Get help. Do disruptive things. Get creative. Stay focused. Do what it takes. (Ask my clients about this one, too.)
• Get control of your money, buy, sell, save, pay off debt, stop spending, create a budget. Do something different so you can move your net worth forward. (I can help with the attitude shift and make recommendations.)
• Decide that you will not put up with all this stress in your life. Take charge of your mind and seek the help to reorganize your brain, for better time management, better stress management, better decision making and how these impact your life. (I’ve really specialized in the neuroscience of change. Ask me.)
• Decide to make a relationship work for you, professional or personal. Either it’s worth having in your life or it should be cut back/abandoned (just like Meghan and Harry). What do you want? What does the other person want? Is it time to get really honest? Time to set boundaries and learn not to be triggered? Remember, you get what you tolerate. (need a listening impartial ear? Let’s bring out your best self)

How will you make 2020 a year that makes a difference in your life? You only get one life to live, and the next year of your one and only life is a terrible thing to waste. I can help - if only through inspiration, listening and questioning. Want to have a conversation about making 2020 your year? Set up a complimentary appointment for a phone or video call at https://calendly.com/drivingimprovedresults/60min. I’m looking forward to talking with you.

As I write this I’m living and working in New York City. Everywhere I look there is abundant wealth. Between investment bankershedge funds, luxury shopping, big negotiated deals, skyscrapers being bought and sold, all kinds of businesses buying all kinds of services, people feeling the need to buy to satisfy a variety of needs and wants. There is a lot of money flowing and being exchanged. One might say it’s an abundance of wealth. You also can liken it to the ocean. It’s big, bigger than you can naturally comprehend.

So how do you participate in the ocean of wealth flowing all around you? Can you see it, hear it and touch it? Do you know others who participate in it more than you do? Do you want more of that ocean of wealth to flow through you? After all, you really don’t keep money. You may work for money, it flows to you and your checking and savings account. But then you pay your bills, or you put it in investments held and used by others such as your bank or the stock market. You don’t really hold your money, you participate in the flow of your money. Perhaps you hide it under your mattress, but then it’s not working for you and it’s value diminishes. Other than hoarding, money is flowing and being exchanged for goods and services along the way.

I grew up on Long Island and went to the beach every day as a kid. I can visualize walking up to the waters edge and getting my toes tickled by the waves. I had a sand pail and could scoop up the water. Can you visualize this? I also had a shovel and a cup. I could dip the shovel and get a little water. The cup would hold more. The pail would hold even more. If you think of people in your life who remain poor, it’s similar to them walking up to the ocean’s edge with a shovel. They dip it into the ocean of abundance and they participate in the flow of money in a very small way. Others bring a cup. Still others bring a pail. And some bring a truck. So we see various levels of wealth.

Our wealth is dependent on the container we bring. What determines what container we bring? Our expectations of ourselves. There are countless stories of people with little money who have won the lottery only to lose everything within 3 years. Their self-concept was a like a shovel. It was filled to overflowing and because they didn’t change the size of their container, the water just overflowed and seeped back into  the sand. Then there are ‘rags to riches’ stories of immigrants or poor people who pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and became multi-millionaires. They expanded their containers by expanding who they were and what their expectations were. Napoleon Hill wrote Think and Grow Rich after interviewing hundreds of people who expanded themselves by reading, strategizing with others who knew more, having wealthy mentors. They grew themselves so they could handle the flow of more wealth. They grew their own containers. Look at Donald Trump. He loses it all and then gains it all back. His container is big and he is used to having it be full. When it empties, it fills right back up again because that’s his expectation.

How can you grow your container so you can have more wealth flowing through you?

• It’s been said that you’re the average of the 3 people you spend the most time with. You will gravitate to the level of the people around you. For me I wanted my kids to go to elementary, intermediate and high schools where I knew they would be around other achieving college-bound students with caring parents. So we moved to an area where we could find that. It was my expectation and I sought it out. As a result my kids didn’t think twice about going to college. It was their expectation that they would get a college education and become productive in the world. In your own life you will have to stop spending so much time with people who think small, and spend more time with people who think bigger.
• You can read and listen to all the self-improvement materials you can handle. You can attend events and conferences meant to expand your thinking and awareness. The point of effectiveness is to really believe and apply them. Often a coach helps you internalize how it all applies to you, asks you deeper questions, helps you face the fear of change and giving up old paradigms and unproductive deep-seated beliefs, helps you discover the kernel of yourself that you can transport to a higher level of wealth, achievement and self-conscious living. I once worked with a young man who wasn’t very fond of networking and it was holding back his career. He had inherited from his father the attitude that going to events and meeting people at the same or higher wealth level was inauthentic and exploitative.  When we reframed it that all people who are networking were there to meet other people and grow their contacts for future business, then he would network at places where he would fit in easily (who all had the same size containers). Once he was invited to an event through his employer at the offices of President Clinton. Of course, people with lots of money and political clout were there as it was a fund raiser. He felt out of his element and on his way home had to stop at a local bar for a beer so he could feel more comfortable again. He wasn’t ready to have his container stretched. Since then we’ve stretched his self-image so that now he feels he belongs at higher profile events and he has gone to similar events comfortably.
• You can join a mastermind of people who are at the level you want to attain. You can breathe in the assumptions of success that come naturally to others and that you’re acclimatizing yourself to. You start to think like them and act like them and get included in the resources they share, the projects they do together. Before you know it you may be looking forward to the next group at an even higher level of wealth flow, expectation of success and container largesse. These groups might be formal or informal. But it will certainly have an effect on you, your perception of yourself and your expectations of what you deserve.

This is essentially what we call your container: what you feel you deserve and what you expect of yourself and those around you, what you seek because of your comfort level with that level of success and achievement. It’s true in wealth building, in education, in happiness, in self-awareness and conscious living. You get what you expect. If your container is small, when you dip it into the ocean of wealth, you will get a small amount. If your container is larger, you will get a large amount. The size of the ocean doesn’t change. It’s there for anybody. If you pull up a tanker truck to the ocean and put your hose in and pump the ocean water into the truck and fill it to capacity, you certainly participate in the flow of wealth in a much bigger way. Have you made the ocean smaller even by taking a lot? No, because it’s just flowing through you. Does the size of your container make a difference in your life? Certainly. Can you choose to upgrade the size of your container? Certainly, but only if you want it at the deepest level, and you are willing to change, giving up the known past to move into the unknown future.

Please comment on the changes you’ve had to make to participate more fully in the flow of wealth.

When networkingyour aim is to meet new people or reinforce old relationships. It’s all about the relationship, helping it to grow and making it deeper. You’re not there to sell or just hand out business cards. You are there to get people to know, like and trust you. If you act like a nincompoop, that will never happen. You want to let your new contact know that you are interested in him and his business and you want to give.

Ivan Mizner calls it ‘Givers Gain’. Eventually you do gain. But only if you give first and give authentically. You give because you want to help, because two people you introduce could find real value and you have the opportunity to make it happen, because you’re a good and caring person. When they do get to know, like and trust you, opportunities will flow your way.

So what do you talk about? You ask them questions. Sure you might say a sentence or less when they ask what you do. But mostly it’s you asking them questions. Bob Burg in his book Endless Referrals provides this list of Feel Good Questions®. Don’t forget to listen.

1. How did you get your start in the widget business? (no, don’t actually say widget, substitute the person’s business)
2. What do you enjoy most about your profession?
3. What separates you and your company from the competition?
4. What advice would you give somebody just getting started in the widget business?
5. What one thing would you do with your business if you knew you could not fail?
6. What significant changes have you seen take place in your profession through the years?
7. What do you see as the coming trends in the widget business?
8. Describe the strangest or funniest incident you’ve experienced in your business.
9. What ways have you found to be the most effective for promoting your business?
10. What one sentence would you like people to use in describing the way you do business?

You’ll probably only be able to ask 2 or 3 in any one networking conversation. If you want to extend the conversation about any one area, you can say, ‘tell me more.’ You can also use the echo technique  where you repeat back the last 3 or 4 words with  a question mark in your voice. Then the other person takes it where he left off.

Here is the ultimate question you want to ask even if you can’t ask more than one of the Feed Good Questions^®.

How can I know if someone I’m speaking to is a good prospect for you or is someone you’d like to meet?

You can also ask FORM questions.

F Family
O Occupation
R Recreation
M Message about what they deem important

The key is to listen intently and really care. Asking good questions to get the conversation going will earn respect and warm wishes. You can’t ask for more.

Do you have some additional questions you like to use? Please share them with us here. Thank you.

We’re coming into the fall get-busy-again season which means a renewed effort at meeting new prospects and strategic partners. In a previous post  we listed the 10 Commandments of Networking. Here are some more tips that can help make your networking efforts more successful.

- Wear something that makes you stand outstill business like and very professional, but something unique that others will remember when you follow up. "Remember me. I was wearing the oriental jacket" or "the jazzy tie."

- Make sure you have two pockets, one for your own cards, and one for the cards you receive.

- Eat before you go. It's too difficult to manage a drink and a plate and exchanging cards and shaking hands. You're there for a purpose. Focus on it.

- Adjust your attitude before going in. Read things that motivate you and are empowering. Listen to music that pumps you up. Think about how people need what you have to offer.

- Go early. Ask to help. You'll get to see the attendee list and focus on who you want to meet. You'll ingratiate yourself to the organizer and s/he will introduce you to people you ask about.

- Watch the way you stand. If you want to talk to someone without interruptions, face him/her directly. If you want a third person to join you, face the other person diagonally and leave room for the third to join. Create an open space that acts as an invitation.

- Have a short (less than ten words) framing statement that answers the proverbial question "What do you do?"  Make it results oriented so people are forced to ask other questions like, "How do you do that?" Make your answer short. Make it about them, not about you. Ask, "What would be a good referral for you?" "What's your specialty?" "What geographic areas do you serve?" Prepare your questions and practice.

-  Remember, it's net-work, not net-sit. No sitting allowed. Move around.

- You are there to gather information, not to sell. Selling will fall on deaf ears.

- It's not who talks... It's who listens. You have two ears and only one mouth for a reason.

- If you go with an associate, split up and work the room separately for double the results.

- Greet people and introduce them to others, find a "wall flower" and shepherd him/her around the room. You've just made a friend for life.

- Put your name tag on your right lapel, directly in the line of sight when someone shakes your hand.

Have some other tips you would like to share with us? Please leave a comment on what has worked well for you.

You have a choice to think positively or negatively. You can choose to listen to that voice inside your head that says‘You’re procrastinating again.’ Or ‘I didn’t have to let that edge creep into my voice.’ Or ‘I’m in a lousy mood and it’s so easy to complain, but what would that accomplish?’

You can consciously choose to stay stuck in non-productive habits and attitudes. Or you can choose something that will make a difference, lead to better outcomes and start the formation of new more productive habits and attitudes.

A good example: The last Tuesday in March it rained in NYC torrents and torrents of water. It didn’t let up all day. It was windy and umbrellas got blown apart and the day got colder as it went on. Of course, a couple of weeks ago I had made appointments so I was walking around the city going from appointment to appointment, most of which were with new prospects. My feet were wet. The bottom of my pant legs were wet. My umbrella broke.

If I went into each meeting complaining about the weather and my lousy luck to have appointments all over the city in the rain, it would put a damper (no pun intended) on the ensuing conversation. Who’s going to hire a negative business coach? So I chose to keep my attitude ‘up’. All day long I walked through the rain picturing Gene Kelly dancing to ‘Singing in the Rain.’ Do you remember the movie? He dances with the street lamp, his umbrella, the curb and the puddles. He splashes in the water enjoying it like a party. I danced my way appointment to appointment singing and splashing and kicking up my heels. I had a great time. My prospects were engaged. I enjoyed every one of them. I had one of my most upbeat days and I was very pleased that all the prospects wanted to continue our conversations.

You have choice in every moment. Every time you do something or open your mouth, you can choose something positive and productive or negative and unproductive. What will you choose? Will you choose to ask for feedback for habits you’ve developed that might be blind spots? Will you choose to dump old habits and form new ones? What will that take? Coaching, journaling, a 360 evaluation, a reflective time away from everybody, creating a trigger to remind you about a change you want to make? Nobody said it would be easy to change existing habits and thought patterns. Will you choose to be helpful or oblivious to what you see going on around you? Remember, not choosing or putting off a choice is itself a choice.

What are the trade-offs? Happy faces, more progress? Seeing more opportunities? Getting unstuck? Not missing opportunities even if you saw them before? How much more profitable could your business be? What better life balance could you have?

How can you apply this to your choices and the choice in every moment? If you’re not sure what you’re missing out on or what other choices you could be making, let’s talk.

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People have been saying this for a couple of months and I was at a business holiday party this week where this was the theme. Some people say it's sillybut is it really? So what does it actually mean?

Sure we recognize that The National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) has confirmed that the nation has been in a recession since December 2007.

But here's the heart of the message.

I Refuse to Let Fear and the Macro-Economy Control My Destiny.

The weakened economy, poor consumer confidence, the uncertainty of the stock market and the lack of available financing will not affect my ability or desire to provide a tremendous value to my clients. It will not influence my Vision or diminish the vital role I play in the businesses and lives of my clients.

The reasons I refuse to participate in the recession are simple: First, I choose to take immediate and consistent action steps that are aligned with my goals and my Vision! The recession has no power over any of these things. Second, I provide an important service that meets a basic need of mankind - guidance and coaching services that help people and organizations create hope, change direction, and prosper when times are good as well as when times are tough.  (I am happy to provide you the names of numerous clients who are stronger and more successful now than ever before!)

So let me ask you two questions:

1) "Are you ready for a new direction and/or improved results?"

2) "Do you also provide a valuable service or product that helps others in the community or around the world?"

If you answered "yes" to both of these questions, then we share a common bond and I am eager to give you these timely instructions:

- Now is the time to plan for 2009 and the future

- Now is the time for creative and inspirational thinking

- Now is the time to expand and find new opportunities

- Now is the time for renewed hope in yourself and your family, community and country

- Now is the time to focus (on your success)

- Now is the time to increase knowledge and skills

- Now is the time to be responsible for your actions

- Now is the time to market and advertise

- Now is the time to give to others

- Now is the time to have fun (and smile more)

- Now is the time to invest in yourself and in your business (or non-profit)

- Now is the time to put fear behind you

- Now is the time for Positive Attitude and Purposeful Action!

You cannot simply wait for answers to come - or for a bailout to rescue you (especially if you're not a car manufacturer or a bank). If you want results tomorrow and in 2009, you need to follow these instructions and act now!  The first step is always the hardest because it requires a humble gesture of faith. It requires that you pick up your phone and call (or send an email to) a mentor or advisor or a coach - and ask for help and guidance.

I guarantee you that there is no better time to act and start an incredible process of abundance, redemption and renewed hope with Driving IR. Only through hope, can we believe; and only through belief, can we take enthused action!  Truly inspired planning and action inevitably and ultimately always leads to confidence and improved results.

If you now refuse to participate in fear (the recession), and instead choose to follow a path of progression, then you need to take some immediate action and call us right away! Here are two things you can do with us to shape your own destiny, Strategic Business Planning and Magnified Marketing. As always we can provide custom solutions as well.

Business Planning Is Strategic and Proactive

If you're not doing it, you're falling prey to the whims of your customers, your vendors and the economy. There are plenty of people and businesses doing well because they've taken their futures into their own hands and are steering their own courses through turbulent times being nimble to adjust as obstacles appear. If you're not, you're shooting yourself in the foot.

Having clearly defined vision, values, mission, goals and action steps is important. What's your path and your end game? What will you accomplish this year? Create a new product or service? Do more internet marketing? Target a new niche? Open a new branch? Get x number of new clients? Cut your overhead costs by y%? A lot of thought goes into a good business plan. This yields several goals that are to be accomplished each month of the year in order to achieve your overall desired results. The goals are consistent with a "necessary and sufficient' filter. They must be 'necessary' because you don't need distractions wasting your resources (time and money). They must be 'sufficient' to do the job. Make sure you have goals in all the critical goal categories. Most businesses will need to focus on 1) Marketing, 2) Sales, 3) Product or service fulfillment, 4) Training and development, 5) Business administration. You may have additional goal categories depending on your industry or market.

Do you have a well thought out plan to accomplish what you want? No excuses. Don't blame anybody but yourself if the company you're leading isn't getting ahead. You've got to adjust with the times, roll with the punches and dance with your challenges. Where are the new opportunities? Who is buying? Adjust and modify yourself, your target, how you perform your service or fulfill your product, get leaner. Even if you have a plan, has someone else looked at it? I'm facilitating more business plans this year than in prior years  because really progressive people realize it's the way to leapfrog forward and eat everyone else's lunch. I offer two different ways to help owners with business plans and it doesn't have to be expensive. Call me if you want to be an eater and not be the lunch.